It’s true: I am back on a social media “detox.”
I hadn’t necessarily planned this ahead of time, but I found myself having a really difficult time mental-health-wise in June, and decided it would be best to take a step back for the season. I’m not sure if I will be offline for the entire summer, but probably until some point in August.
The issue for me was that as restrictions had been lifted, I was attending more gatherings and it was all kind of sudden for me. I didn’t expect to feel anxiety at family gatherings, but I did. I actually was able to go to a Hanson concert (their first post-shutdown show, by the way) and have no issues, but I couldn’t go to a baby shower and graduation for my cousins. I was honestly crippled by anxiety and anger over being on constant defense because I didn’t want to be asked about not having kids. It’s interesting how this has actually become a thing I actually get approached about regularly at gatherings. When I meet new people at gatherings, it is a rare thing to not be asked about it. On the 4th of July, I actually met some members of my husband’s family for the first time and nobody mentioned anything about not having kids to me. I stayed tense and in anticipation throughout the first part of our time together, but realized that it was not going to be a topic of conversation, which sent me into a state of relief and peace. I was very grateful to those people.
Since going offline, I have also started making more healthy changes in my life. I noticed right away, this was probably a good time to restart my involvement in therapy. I reconnected with my counselor I saw pre-pandemic and we now meet every other week. It’s been very important for me to have a place to process through my emotions. For my physical health, I have started waking up at 5AM to go work out at my apartment gym with my husband. I also take 2 yoga classes a week and have started eating a plant-based diet. I’ll probably do a whole post on my diet in the future. I have taken volunteering opportunities at church. I have started setting intentions for each day. I have incorporated meditation into my life. For creative enjoyment, I’ve learned the ASL alphabet and I’ve been serving on the worship team at church on a more regular basis.
Overall, I’m doing very well. Last weekend, I went to a funeral with a large group of my husband’s relatives and none of that caused me to spiral out of control. That felt like victory. I had taken a nice walk at the river that morning, done a 15 minute meditation, shared a peaceful morning with my mother-in-law, and so I definitely saw the benefit of the new habits I had started.
Habits are crucial to me and truly hold me together and catch me when something out-of-the-ordinary knocks me down.
As far as my homemaking goes, I think I’ve got it under control, but I haven’t been focused on joyful homemaking so much lately. I haven’t been making it a romantic thing. It is tasks I enjoy completing but it hasn’t been much more than that.
I haven’t been off social media for an extended period of time really since 2019, so this is a welcome break. Although, I do feel a little dumb about how people I know are doing. It is a pretty neat sense of excitement to rejoin everyone after a break and there’s tons of things to catch up on. Definitely beats prolonged scrolling without anything significant being gained every single day.
Here’s to a season of restoration and dedication.